So you think you’re an Incredible Lover…

Sex is a quintessential human experience that is just as unique as the people involved in the act itself. Let’s face it, what turns on one person might be a turn off for someone else entirely. So what is it that makes a good lover? And more importantly, do you fit the bill? Ask your self the following questions to see if indeed you are An Incredible Lover!

1) Do you take your time?

A connection, a real connection takes time. There is a rhythm to having great sex. One that includes a warm up ( You’ve got to get one another excited), a work up to the main event (put your time and attention into your partner), the climax (who doesn’t love that part?) and the end (Coming down from that climactic high).

That’s why taking your time and letting yourself and your partner really enjoy the experience marks you as a great lover.

2) Do you communicate in bed?

You’ve heard me mention it before, communication equals romance AND believe it or not it also equals great sex. Here’s how it works.

Listening, do you hear what your partner is reacting to when you are performing oral or touching certain erogenous zones? If your partner tells you they want to try something new are you receptive to their suggestions? If not, do you shut them down or find a compromise?

Talking works the same way. How does your partner know what you want and how you want it? If you don’t communicate it, they are in the dark. Moans are considered communication, so when your partner is down into those intimate parts, moan your way into sharing with them how much you’re enjoying it.

Best part of communication is the dirty talk. If you’re not doing this yet, try to see how much in enhances the experience (trust me)

3) Do you know you’re own body and how to use it to make your lover feel good?

Yep, I went there. Knowing your own body and how to use it to make your partner feel good is an essential component to incredible sex. Your body has incredible powers over your partner. And if you’re not feeling good about it, if you’ve got some hang ups about the way you look, it can hinder the type of openness that enhances a great sexual atmosphere.

4) Do you give good oral? Really good oral?

There is something so sensual about your partner taking the time to pleasure you with their mouth. It’s a type of communication that tells your partner that you enjoy the way you taste and smell. Its a level of commitment to the process of pleasure. If you’re new to a partner and don’t want to get in there just yet, I understand. But it’s worth the testing, trust me. You can never ever give too much oral!

5) Sex toys and Masturbation

The mark of an excellent lover is someone who is not jealous or resentful of masturbation, and not upset when sex toys come out to play. In fact if you truly are an incredible lover you’d suggest your partner masturbate. It increases sex drive, blood flow and encourages your partner to become more in tuned with their body. And when the toys some out to play, they should be used to their fullest advantage. After all, your job as an incredible lover is to give your partner an orgasmic experience. And if toys make that easier or better, why not?

I hope all of you lovelies past the incredible lover questionnaire. I know I did 🙂

Love,

Brooke

 

 

 

 

Romantic and Sexy for Valentines Day, but more importantly all year long.

This time of year drives me bonkers. I know as a romance writer you would think that I would eat up what is supposed to be the most romantic night of the year. But it couldn’t be further from the truth. I don’t know about you, but I feel immense pressure this time of year to make Valentines Day romantic and sexy. It stresses me out. I never know what to get my hubby because inevitably my expectations of gifts and his will be different.  What I don’t understand is why do we have to make a specific day to be romantic and sexy? Can’t we do that all year-long? The answer of course is yes and your relationship will be that much better if you are romantic and sexy all year-long.

In light of the special weekend here are my top three (FREE) ideas that might help the romantically challenged make an evening special. 316992630_make_your_own_valentine_cards600x600_xlarge

1) Make your own card. It does not have to be fancy, and you don’t have to be a writer.There are plenty of romantic and loving sayings on-line you can use or be inspired by.

2) Be creative, write on little cards sexual activities you would be happy to perform in bed. Give your partner the right to use a card at any time, any where! Oo la la!

3) A spa getaway at home is fantastic, all you need is some mood music and massage oil. Take turns giving each other a full body massage. This can only lead to good things.

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Hoping everyone has a wonderful and romantic Valentines Day. P.s it’s a good time to use that dirty talk you’ve been practicing!

With Love,

Brooke

Boost your Wellbeing (and sex life) with Cuddles

During the cooler weather many of us spend more time at home, cuddled under a warm blanket or in front of the fire place with a movie or a great book. The calm restful feeling of winter hibernation can be sublime. I personally love spending a whole day doing this in my pyjamas. But when we add our partner to the equation is becomes not only relationship boosting, but heath-full as well, here’s why.

When you cuddle with your loved one it releases oxytocin, a pleasure chemical in your brain. This chemical reaction makes you feel good as well as making you feel more connected to your partner. The more you do this the better…right?

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The burst in oxytocin caused by cuddling also helps boost the immune system. And there’s more, oxytocin is also linked to alleviating pain, reducing stress levels and helping a person feel more able to focus on their relationship. The best part about cuddling is that it often leads to more 🙂

“But Brooke-I am single right now”

No worries, there is no rule that says to get all of the amazing affects of oxytocin through cuddles it has to be with a partner. A hug from a friend, cuddling a pet or family member and even giving yourself a massage or taking a warm bath can all boost your oxytocin levels and help reduce your stress and build your immune system.

So go out there and grab a cuddle with someone you love!

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Sending you warm cyber cuddles,

Brooke Lynn

Build Your Love into a Life Time of Love and Affection

So much of our discussions about love and romance focus on the initial infatuation stage of a relationship. Though I am generalizing I feel that we as a culture are raised to anticipate the Cinderella romance, or be swept away by Prince Charming.  I am fully aware that as a contemporary romance/erotica writer I perpetuate this notion, however, my characters are gritty with realistic character flaws. You will not find a single prince charming in any of my books. This is also why I thought it important to say a few words on the subject.infatuation

It’s not always roses, chocolate and incredible sex all the time…

So what happens after the initial infatuation stage begins to dwindle? The couple that once could not stand to spend a single moment apart, now finds the romance factor has begun to fade. Perhaps small amounts of resentment forms with inequity of shared chores or one finds the others habits a tad grating.  The reality of true love is being there for one another through even the toughest of times. Love is not for the faint of heart, it requires an open mind, compromise, listening and understanding.

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Couples therapists will often recommend the following to keep a healthy strong love alive for a life time.

LISTEN! Actively listen to your lover, ask questions, give answers. DO NOT just say “Oh yeah” or “Mum hum”!

APPRECIATE your partner and make sure they know just how much.

STAY ATTRACTIVE! No this does not mean you have to be an underwear model, but stop hanging out in your flannel pyjamas stained with ketchup and dress like you want your partners eyes to widen with appreciation when they see you. When you look good, you feel good and feeling good means feeling sexy 😉

INCLUDE your partner, but also make sure that you each have your own space/privacy.

BE HONEST AND TRUSTWORTHY! Ok, I don’t think this means you should stop hiding your shoe purchases, I mean really. But it is crucial to a relationship that you do these…seriously.

GIVE RESPECT! Such an over used word. But when you truly respect your loved one it will change how you interact on every level.

TELL YOUR MATE WHAT YOU NEED! Inside and outside of the bedroom this is a crucial aspect to being happy in your relationship. How can our partners satisfy our needs if we do not tell them about it? I don’t know about you but I have yet to meet a real mind reader.

ACCEPTANCE! Every single person in this world has a few short comings. So accept your partner for who they are. Fixing a person within a relationship should never be on the agenda.

GROW INTELLECTUALLY! If you do not keep your minds active, what on earth are you going to talk about? I just saw a commercial on t.v that showed a couple (post kids bed time routine). Who were munching on Fruit Loops and Playing Mario Bros video game. Funny. But seriously, that can only last for so long before it gets old.

CULTIVATE VARIETY! Have a life full of change and step out of your routine/comfort zone-often.

SAY NO TO CHEATING! Recognizing that we live in a world with many types of relationships, in general if your partner has not given you the go ahead to search out new sexual or emotional experiences-DONT!

Lastly DO NOT ASSUME your relationship will LAST FOREVER. Relationships are a commitment to doing all of the above. Many relationships have ended because despite being in love they did not build a respectful, caring and considerate relationship.

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I have to admit that upon reflection of these guidelines even I who consider myself a very happily married lady have fallen to not always abiding buy these rules. I do half listen to my husband ramble on about baseball or work from time to time or forget to communicate my needs. However, in my humble opinion, perfection is rarely attained, all any of us can do is reflect and strive to improve. Besides, I can always charm my husband with a back massage or homemade peanut butter cookies 🙂

I want to hear from you, what do you do to keep the love alive in your relationship?

Happy Loving!

Brooke Lynn

For some cool facts above love and incidentally where I found some of the information above. (#43)

http://facts.randomhistory.com/2009/08/04_love.html

Domestic Goddess/ Sexy Erotica Writer…

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I am trying hard to keep my sensuality (ok, maybe actually retain my raunchiness) whilst completing what feels like a gazillion domestic chores. Sadly I have to admit that I am doing an abysmal job at it. Something about cooking, cleaning and doing laundry makes me feel a bit well, ordinary. Lord knows that if I could, I would have a full-time housekeeper/cook.   And yes maybe I would have him/her wear a bit of a sexy uniform (perhaps that’s going too far). I digress, what I really mean is how does someone keep their sexy on? We all have jobs, chores, friends and family to keep us busy. So, this blog is dedicated to helping us all keep our sexy on.

You could try to put on a sex outfit before you begin cleaning and have your partner be your ’employer’, or visa versa. Role playing is by no means a new idea. If you have not tried it, role-playing before it’s worth a little giggle, and if you do it right perhaps some sexy times lay ahead. There are so many more things you can do with role playing, use your imagination and do what speaks to you. So give it a try, role playing in general can be fun. Personally I fancy a man in uniform….

Sexy talk can also be a huge turn on, there is nothing sexier than your partner coming up behind you to whisper all kinds of sexy ideas he plans to perform in the bedroom. Try it tonight, this alone can have you running for a hiding spot away from the ‘kid-lets’ to have alone time with your partner.

I know some of you are not into kink, but OMG! Imagine having the house to yourselves and calling your partner up to your bedroom… to find you naked and tied to the bed. WOW! If that does not get his/her juices flowing I am not sure what will.

In all seriousness, what ever you like to do in/or out bed. Take the time to enjoy it. Make a plan to put some kink into your life, and add pizzaz to your sex life. I know, you guys have been together for a long time and heck, you like it how you like it. But STOP and change it up. Nothing more boring that doing the same old routine over and over again. Your relationship will evolve and so should your sex life.  Go to the local sex shop with your partner and find something fun to try…there is a whole now world to discover!

Truly I hope this blog has inspired you to put some pizzaz into your sex life. I’d love to see some comments. Tell me what have you done to spice up your love life or make you feel sexy?

Yours Truly,

Brooke Lynn

Agent Provocateur Bring New Meaning to ‘Domestic Goddess’ for Spring 2014_1