WHAT! SAY IT AIN’T SO!

 

I have to admit its been a roller coaster lately. People are on edge and politics are crazy. I am not sure how the next four years are going to go. But I am on the edge of my seat and will ride this roller coaster along with everyone else who lives in North America. Hoping our safety restraints keep us safe and secure while we go a hundred miles an hour.

Shock and awe aside. I am a bit overwhelmed with the hate that’s going on in the world right now. And it might not be my place to say; but where is the love?

I grew up with parents that loved Motown. Okay, maybe not Diana Ross, but definitely some Marvin Gaye, Smokey Robinson, The Temptations, Glady’s Knight. I can’t tell you how many concerts my parents brought me to, sitting on a blanket on the lawn of the stadiums listing to the sweet flow of Motown music while I played is one of my favourite memories as a child.

And so, I leave you with the lyrics of a song that is as poignant today as is was when it was produced back in 1971, four years before I was even born.

Listen to the song here

What’s Goin’ On
Marvin Gaye

Mother, mother
There’s too many of you crying
Brother, brother, brother
There’s far too many of you dying
You know we’ve got to find a way
To bring some lovin’ here today, eheh

Father, father
We don’t need to escalate
You see, war is not the answer
For only love can conquer hate
You know we’ve got to find a way
To bring some lovin’ here today, oh oh oh
Picket lines and picket signs
Don’t punish me with brutality
Talk to me, so you can see
Oh, what’s going on
What’s going on
Yeah, what’s going on
Ah, what’s going on
In the mean time
Right on, baby
Right on brother
Right on babe
Mother, mother, everybody thinks we’re wrong
Oh, but who are they to judge us
Simply ’cause our hair is long
Oh, you know we’ve got to find a way
To bring some understanding here today
Oh oh oh
Picket lines and picket signs
Don’t punish me with brutality
C’mon talk to me
So you can see
What’s going on
Yeah, what’s going on
Tell me what’s going on
I’ll tell you what’s going on, ooh ooo ooo ooo
Right on baby
Right on baby

 

  • Thanks to AZ Quotes for the great Feature pic of Marvin Gaye and quote!
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Waiting…

It occurred to me, as I sit here waiting, that we do a lot of that in our life.  We wait and wait.

When I was twelve I couldn’t wait to be sixteen. In my pre-pubescent mind if I were sixteen I might be treated differently, maybe adults would take me seriously and they’d stop treating me like a child. I could get my licence and really take charge of my life. 

When I was a senior in high school I couldn’t wait to be done. I truely belived I had outgrown high school and I was ready for the new challenge of post secondary. 

And the list of waiting for big life accomplishments could go on!

As for little insignificant waiting well…

I waited for my doctor, who always overbooked and made each patient wait over an hour.

Buses, street cars, subways and rides shared with friends. Much of my waiting in my teens and twenties was in transit. 

We wait and wait. I’m wondering though- if we take the time to observe humanity while we wait or make connections with new people. Maybe that makes all the waiting worth while.

As for the big life events we wait for- now that I’m forty- I wait for nothing (sort of). I’m living in the moment. Enjoying every second that I can. And if I have to wait…well I keep myself busy. Challenging myself to enjoy every minute of the time. And make use of it wisely!

Wait… One more thing! Don’t wait for love to find you- go find love (in all its forms) yourself!

Luv,

Brooke

Healing by Nature

Many of you who know me, will know that I spend copious amounts of time outside during the summer months.

This past week I spent five glorious days in the wonderful wilderness.

Everyday I took a walk amongst the trees, luxuriated in the scent of nature and feasted on the sights and sounds my home away from home provided. I was lucky enough to be close to a lovely lake that was clear and just the right temperature to help cool me down after a day in the sun. The perfect break from the everyday. IMG_5826

When I am not lucky enough to be camping, you will find me in the provincial park close to my home. Catching some clean air under the trees and listening to the wind tussle the leaves.

I do this for several reasons. As a writer I can sit at my desk for far too many hours not moving anything but my fingers on the key board, I find I need a good walk to get my blood moving and mind clear. I’ve also read some articles that describe walks in the outdoors, specifically under a canopy of trees as a way to boost your mental health and well-being. But most of all, I go out and enjoy nature because it makes me very happy to do so.

IMG_5758I walk almost every day, in the shade of forest for at least an hour, sometimes more. And I can attest to the fact that it helps clear my mind, puts life in perspective and gives me the energy to better handle the stress of my everyday. Google this shit out of this, because it’s true. A whole new form of psychology is emerging called Eco-Psychology! Yep folks, it’s true. Doctors are actually prescribing walks amongst trees as a form of treatment.

So I’ll save you the cash and suggest go out and get a walk in under the trees and see how much better you feel. Not a cure-all, but definitely worth an hour of your time.

Yours in well-being,

 

Brooke

 

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Romantic and Sexy for Valentines Day, but more importantly all year long.

This time of year drives me bonkers. I know as a romance writer you would think that I would eat up what is supposed to be the most romantic night of the year. But it couldn’t be further from the truth. I don’t know about you, but I feel immense pressure this time of year to make Valentines Day romantic and sexy. It stresses me out. I never know what to get my hubby because inevitably my expectations of gifts and his will be different.  What I don’t understand is why do we have to make a specific day to be romantic and sexy? Can’t we do that all year-long? The answer of course is yes and your relationship will be that much better if you are romantic and sexy all year-long.

In light of the special weekend here are my top three (FREE) ideas that might help the romantically challenged make an evening special. 316992630_make_your_own_valentine_cards600x600_xlarge

1) Make your own card. It does not have to be fancy, and you don’t have to be a writer.There are plenty of romantic and loving sayings on-line you can use or be inspired by.

2) Be creative, write on little cards sexual activities you would be happy to perform in bed. Give your partner the right to use a card at any time, any where! Oo la la!

3) A spa getaway at home is fantastic, all you need is some mood music and massage oil. Take turns giving each other a full body massage. This can only lead to good things.

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Hoping everyone has a wonderful and romantic Valentines Day. P.s it’s a good time to use that dirty talk you’ve been practicing!

With Love,

Brooke

Boost your Wellbeing (and sex life) with Cuddles

During the cooler weather many of us spend more time at home, cuddled under a warm blanket or in front of the fire place with a movie or a great book. The calm restful feeling of winter hibernation can be sublime. I personally love spending a whole day doing this in my pyjamas. But when we add our partner to the equation is becomes not only relationship boosting, but heath-full as well, here’s why.

When you cuddle with your loved one it releases oxytocin, a pleasure chemical in your brain. This chemical reaction makes you feel good as well as making you feel more connected to your partner. The more you do this the better…right?

cuddling

The burst in oxytocin caused by cuddling also helps boost the immune system. And there’s more, oxytocin is also linked to alleviating pain, reducing stress levels and helping a person feel more able to focus on their relationship. The best part about cuddling is that it often leads to more 🙂

“But Brooke-I am single right now”

No worries, there is no rule that says to get all of the amazing affects of oxytocin through cuddles it has to be with a partner. A hug from a friend, cuddling a pet or family member and even giving yourself a massage or taking a warm bath can all boost your oxytocin levels and help reduce your stress and build your immune system.

So go out there and grab a cuddle with someone you love!

cuddles

Sending you warm cyber cuddles,

Brooke Lynn

Build Your Love into a Life Time of Love and Affection

So much of our discussions about love and romance focus on the initial infatuation stage of a relationship. Though I am generalizing I feel that we as a culture are raised to anticipate the Cinderella romance, or be swept away by Prince Charming.  I am fully aware that as a contemporary romance/erotica writer I perpetuate this notion, however, my characters are gritty with realistic character flaws. You will not find a single prince charming in any of my books. This is also why I thought it important to say a few words on the subject.infatuation

It’s not always roses, chocolate and incredible sex all the time…

So what happens after the initial infatuation stage begins to dwindle? The couple that once could not stand to spend a single moment apart, now finds the romance factor has begun to fade. Perhaps small amounts of resentment forms with inequity of shared chores or one finds the others habits a tad grating.  The reality of true love is being there for one another through even the toughest of times. Love is not for the faint of heart, it requires an open mind, compromise, listening and understanding.

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Couples therapists will often recommend the following to keep a healthy strong love alive for a life time.

LISTEN! Actively listen to your lover, ask questions, give answers. DO NOT just say “Oh yeah” or “Mum hum”!

APPRECIATE your partner and make sure they know just how much.

STAY ATTRACTIVE! No this does not mean you have to be an underwear model, but stop hanging out in your flannel pyjamas stained with ketchup and dress like you want your partners eyes to widen with appreciation when they see you. When you look good, you feel good and feeling good means feeling sexy 😉

INCLUDE your partner, but also make sure that you each have your own space/privacy.

BE HONEST AND TRUSTWORTHY! Ok, I don’t think this means you should stop hiding your shoe purchases, I mean really. But it is crucial to a relationship that you do these…seriously.

GIVE RESPECT! Such an over used word. But when you truly respect your loved one it will change how you interact on every level.

TELL YOUR MATE WHAT YOU NEED! Inside and outside of the bedroom this is a crucial aspect to being happy in your relationship. How can our partners satisfy our needs if we do not tell them about it? I don’t know about you but I have yet to meet a real mind reader.

ACCEPTANCE! Every single person in this world has a few short comings. So accept your partner for who they are. Fixing a person within a relationship should never be on the agenda.

GROW INTELLECTUALLY! If you do not keep your minds active, what on earth are you going to talk about? I just saw a commercial on t.v that showed a couple (post kids bed time routine). Who were munching on Fruit Loops and Playing Mario Bros video game. Funny. But seriously, that can only last for so long before it gets old.

CULTIVATE VARIETY! Have a life full of change and step out of your routine/comfort zone-often.

SAY NO TO CHEATING! Recognizing that we live in a world with many types of relationships, in general if your partner has not given you the go ahead to search out new sexual or emotional experiences-DONT!

Lastly DO NOT ASSUME your relationship will LAST FOREVER. Relationships are a commitment to doing all of the above. Many relationships have ended because despite being in love they did not build a respectful, caring and considerate relationship.

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I have to admit that upon reflection of these guidelines even I who consider myself a very happily married lady have fallen to not always abiding buy these rules. I do half listen to my husband ramble on about baseball or work from time to time or forget to communicate my needs. However, in my humble opinion, perfection is rarely attained, all any of us can do is reflect and strive to improve. Besides, I can always charm my husband with a back massage or homemade peanut butter cookies 🙂

I want to hear from you, what do you do to keep the love alive in your relationship?

Happy Loving!

Brooke Lynn

For some cool facts above love and incidentally where I found some of the information above. (#43)

http://facts.randomhistory.com/2009/08/04_love.html

Where in the world is Brooke Lynn Berry?

I just had a look at my last post and could hardly believe that it has been over three months since I posted anything!  I can not excuse my lack of posts with anything fantastical such as being whisked away on a three month romantic get away to Fiji. The truth is that working on my first book was so much fun. When the story came to me I spent every spare moment writing. But, I put that first before all else and my family felt very neglected. Realizing that they had taken enough neglect I took some time off.

This probably worked to my advantage in a couple of ways. I feel as though I am now able to look at my work in a new light, and I have done some reading and research to enhance my knowledge and understanding of the craft that is writing. Which could mean good things, but who knows 🙂

Honestly though,  it did not take long before I became listless and bored. This is where we are now. I have a Syn Publishing in mind for my novels and I am working on getting them out to you as soon as I can. What a journey. I just want to thank Houston Havens and Kim Mullican for supporting me along the way. I love these peeps (do people still use this term?)

Thanks to all of you who support and care for me and I can not wait to see what the future holds.

Much love,

Brooke Lynn